I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
