and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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