thus making me awesome and them whores
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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