What did we do last night that was yellow?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
