I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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