but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Randomize
