Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
