I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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