We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
