So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
