i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
