Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
