Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We are two peas in an std pod
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
