Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
