I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
