Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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