great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
