I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
