I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
