so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
