im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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