i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize