that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
