I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
