so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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