this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
