I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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