I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
