I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
