omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
