How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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