Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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