hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
