can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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