I'm jealous of your bromance
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
