theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
