You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
