Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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