im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
