everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
