I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize