So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
