new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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