Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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