If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
