Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize