i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
