I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
