i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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