hell yes lets make some ravioli
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
