i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
