We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
