Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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