Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
