I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
