Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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