Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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