Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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