the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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