with your own penis?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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