we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
