She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
