Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize