Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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