does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
