Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
