I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
