so that wasnt chicken after all
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize