would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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