Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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