i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize