What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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