My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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