Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
