I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think your dad took our porno
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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