This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
