This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
