I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
