I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
