I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
