Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize