in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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