I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
