worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
