his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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